Understanding Bereavment

If someone you know has been bereaved, don't ask them if they are ok.

Don't expect them to “Have got over it” in a year, 18 months, or even two years or more. You learn to live with your new situation and you never “get over it”

Do laugh with them and most importantly speak about the person they have lost, share your memories, or invite them to share theirs.

Never say to a mother who lost her baby, “Oh well you can try again”

Never tell a widow,” Oh, well, you're young, you will marry again”

Forgive them if they seem more distracted, if they need stability or to know what each day will bring.

Don't say to them you know how they feel, you don't unless you too have been to that lonely place.

Don't say, “Oh, well at least you've got......”

Hold them when they need holding, don't pity them.

Don't walk by and pretend you didn't see them because you don't know what to say.

Don't judge.

Forgive them if they sound sharp once in a while, they are beyond tired, you don't know unless you have been there.

They will be there for you when they can.

They will need you not just at the beginning but from time to time along the way, the way is long.

They will be strong, they will rebuild their life, but they will not forget.

 

EMMA TYER